What To Do When You Have Enough?
Tackle Your Retirement Stressors Head On
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) offers strategies that you can practice on your own, or with a licensed therapist to cope with your “Retirement Fears.” Strategies as simple as thought analyses and Socratic questioning are a great start. Jeremy Sutton, PhD, does a great job explaining how to effectively use Socratic questioning in, “Socratic Questioning in Psychology: Examples and Techniques,” on the PositivePsychology website.
Simple steps to tackle retirement anxiety:
- List your retirement worries, such as, “I’m worthless,” “I’ll waste the rest of my life” or “I’ll run out of money.”
- Next, challenge each worry. List all of the reasons that this worry might not come true. For example, to challenge the “I’m worthless now that I’m retired,” fear you might write down: “I still have people that depend on me.” “I’m worthy as a human being, not for what I do.” “I can continue making a contribution in the world, without paid work.”
- Review your list of retirement fears and worries, along with your refutations of those beliefs. Finally write more reasonable responses to your retirement anxieties such as; “I’m in a normal life transition. I have value and an opportunity to craft a worthy life for my next stage. My worth is not determined by a hefty W-2, net worth statement or a job title.”
Allow yourself some time to get used to the retirement stage of life and define your retirement, on your own terms.
Define Your Retirement Purpose (Because Money Isn’t the Driver Anymore)
We all need to feel worthy, valued and significant. Remember that it took years to adapt to adulthood, living on our own, developing a career and meeting the various tasks of early adulthood and middle age. It would be unreasonable that we can pop into retirement without a hitch. Many like to transition gradually into retirement, if possible. For example, cut back on work, or work part time in the beginning stages of work, as you simultaneously define your purpose.
Don’t expect to find your retirement purpose overnight. Allow yourself a period of transition and even grieving as you move from a full-time working adult to retiree.
The options for retirement pastimes are endless, but, what works for you is what matters. We all know of people who love to travel, take courses, volunteer and more. Others have hobbies and pastimes that fill their retirement hours. Some want to maintain a goal-driven life in retirement by running races, competing in gaming tournaments or learning a language. A close friend dipped her toes into sewing, candle making, teaching dance (she’s certified), volunteering at the SPCA, going on retreats and travel. Some pursuits fit, while others, not so much.
If you have enough money in retirement, you can afford to dabble and find the activities that work for you.
Harvard studied four generations of participants and surveyed more than 2,000 participants over 8 decades to understand the distinction between adults with meaning, connection and purpose and those without. The “Maps for Life Transitions,” website delivers resources to aid with these major factors, in creating a meaningful life:
- Life stages
- Values and Purpose
- Life-Affirming Relationships
- Life Transitions
- Responding to Challenges
Fortunately, there are solutions to living a meaningful retirement life, that you have the opportunity to uncover.
Spend With Intention
Those who have lived simply, saved and invested to build a successful retirement can be at a loss at retirement. The power of compounding wealth, accompanied by recent decades of high stock market returns has left some retirees with more money than expected. As previously mentioned, this can be a blessing and a curse.
The opportunity to spend more money in retirement than during your prior working years can feel “wrong.” After all, you’ve built up smart saving and spending habits that have served you well for decades. Even though you can spend more, doesn’t mean that you must. Many retirees have no desire to change their lifestyle in any significant way.
Yet, knowing that you have more than enough money in retirement, means that you can make consious decisions to spend more on what matters to you. It might not be a bigger home or luxury car, but you might relish the idea of treating the entire family to a vacation each year. These special occasions create priceless memories and direct your retirement dollars to the people that matter most to you.
Others have causes, dear to their hearts, and might want to set up charitable giving to make a significant impact. Legacy funds set a model for future generations of charity and selfless concern for others.
In lieu of waiting until your passing, you might consider disbursing some of your wealth to your heirs sooner. During mid-life, many responsible adult children can make good use of financial assistance that would be less meaningful in several decades.
Intentional spending in retirement can lead to joy and alleviate any guilt you might have about your financial choices in retirement.
Create a Flexible Plan for Your Time
Time structure was crucial while working. If you didn’t complete your high priority items, there were consequences.
In retirement, time structure is equally important, although more for your mental well being, than your financial. It’s easy to become mired in worry and anxiety, if you have no retirement plan and too much free time. Living deliberately in retirement and choosing how to spend your time interweaves purpose into your routine. Through the previous exercises and discussion, you should have an idea of what will be important during the next stage of life.
Turning your ideas into actions, ramps up your fulfillment in retirement. If making a daily to do list helped you structure your time previously, consider this life hack in retirement. Scheduling in time blocks for your activities; exercise, hobbies, socializing and volunteering can create a full retirement life. Learn to reprogram you thinking and consider “doing nothing” okay as well.
Some retirees over book their time and consequently sabotage the enjoyment of their later years. Too much structure can be just as bad as not enough.
Give yourself permission to experience all of the feelings that accompany the transition into retirement.
Summary: Navigating the Emotional Complexity of Financial Independence
This article explores the phenomenon of retirement anxiety, a common but often ignored stressor for those who have officially achieved their “enough” number. While many focus solely on financial security, reaching this milestone can trigger an identity crisis, loss of status and fear of the future. By utilizing simple strategies like Socratic questioning and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), retirees can move past their retirement fears and define their retirement purpose through intentional living. A successful retirement transition requires more than a healthy bank account; it demands an intentional evaluation of what matters to you and how you want your life to proceed. You can find contentment in this next stage by balancing growth, connection, joy and finances.